


Have An Ice Day

by detectivejigsaw



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Again, Arctic adventure, Ford is exasperated, Gen, Sea Grunks, Stan being a BAMF, drabble-ish, seductive snow monster goes hungry tonight, silly oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectivejigsaw/pseuds/detectivejigsaw
Summary: A little sea grunk adventure in which Stan encounters an extremely dangerous kind of monster...Drabble-ish fic.  I like to think I’m good at those.
Relationships: Stan Pines & Ford Pines
Comments: 11
Kudos: 80





	Have An Ice Day

It was crazy how many stars you could see out in the middle of the ocean, Stan thought as he headed into the cabin. Especially on nights with little to no moon.

Ford was still out on the giant iceberg they’d discovered, collecting samples of a strange glowing moss that was somehow growing there despite how biologically impossible that was supposed to be. Stan, however, had come back to the boat with the frozen mini woolly mammoth they’d had to dig out of the ice (to Ford’s disappointment, it seemed unlikely to revive the way the dinosaurs preserved in amber had; Mabel would probably be disappointed too-Stan could already imagine her squealing with excitement about them having a “teacup mammoth pet” or whatever), and putting it in the preservation tank for now.

Once it was firmly ensconced in the bright green preservation goo, Stan closed the lid and pushed the buttons to seal it. Then he took a picture to send to Soos, along with a note about possible attraction ideas. That done, he went back out to see if his brother was on his way back-and found a woman standing on deck.

Not just any kind of woman either-a  _ babe _ . Of the Asian variety no less, with long, flowing black hair, and a billowy white kimono that went well with her pale skin. She was staring at him with curiosity in her dark eyes.

“Welcome, stranger,” she murmured in a soft voice, with the kind of accent that made Stan’s toes curl.

“H-hey,” Stan said, looking thoroughly entranced. “Um-this your island?”

All his usual eloquence had treacherously decided to desert him; inwardly he groaned at how much he sounded like Ford did talking to just regular women.

This woman smiled, and a trickle of laughter escaped her pale lips. “Indeed. But of course, you are welcome to stay for as long as you like.” She glided towards him, her feet not making a sound on the deck.

Before Stan knew what was happening, she was right in front of him and brushing the tips of her fingers down the front of his jacket; he shivered from way more than just the cold. This only seemed to please the woman, who leaned closer; despite how thick the kimono looked, he could feel the cold radiating from her skin.

“Oh yes,” she murmured, “you may stay here with me for as long as you like…”

Just before her lips could touch his, Stan shoved her back-and then punched her in the mouth.

He didn’t care if it was unchivalrous; Stan had no problem hitting a woman who was trying to murder him.

The woman in question screeched in pain and fury, clutching her mouth and staggering.

Huh; even her blood seemed to be pale blue.

“Nice try,” he said aloud, “but your whole schtick needs work. I mean, come on, just sneaking up on a guy and trying to kiss him out of the blue? Maybe that’ll work for some idiots, but for me it was just kind of freaky. And someone like  _ you _ being interested in someone like  _ me _ ?” He scoffed. “Yeah right.”

The woman snarled something at him that sounded like it could be Japanese; Stan didn’t have to understand it to retort, “Yeah, same to you-what are you, some kinda snow demon thing?”

She didn’t answer, but the glower she gave him was answer enough.

“Well, same to you, frosty!” Stan grinned savagely, and then pulled out his lighter, conjuring up a tiny flame. “Now get off my boat.”

Fortunately, it worked. With a final screech of rage, the woman turned into a whirl of snowflakes, which swiftly departed the  _ Stan O’War _ .

Stan smiled smugly, and flipped the lighter closed.

* * *

Ford folded his arms.

“So is that why we’ve spent the last three days  _ surrounded by ice _ ?!”

Possibly it would have been a good idea to tell Ford what had happened as soon as he returned to the boat. But he’d been in a hurry to get to the next anomaly he’d picked up on the radar, and it hadn’t seemed like a big deal at the time. Apparently, though, that woman demon thing had been more than a little scorned.

“What’d you want me to do?!” Stan demanded. “Let her suck out my soul or whatever?!”

“No, of course not! But-” He faltered.

“No, go on,” Stan said dryly, “I  _ really  _ wanna hear your so-much-wiser solution.”

After a second his brother harrumphed, which was Ford for ‘I don’t have one, but I’m too proud to admit it.’ “Just hand me the screwdriver.”

And they went back to work on the giant flamethrower they were attaching to the front of the boat.

No ice ‘witch with a capital B’ was gonna keep  _ them _ trapped in the middle of the ocean.

**Author's Note:**

> I know some people are all for the “Ford saves Stan from attractive, seductive supernatural monster thing,” but I kind of like the idea of Stan learning from his mistakes once in a while (cough, *spider woman*, cough).
> 
> Also, if you didn’t know the woman is supposed to be a yuki-onna. They’re this type of Japanese snow demon who likes to seduce and murder men by freezing them to death. I just really got a kick out of the idea of Stan punching one. And if you're wondering what she's doing so far from home...maybe she migrated or something.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
